


Leave A Letter

by narcissismchild



Series: There to Hear It [1]
Category: Bandom, The Academy Is...
Genre: Gender Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-25
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 23:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narcissismchild/pseuds/narcissismchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's funny, even after all this time I have no idea how you'll react to this."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"It's funny, even after all this time I have no idea how you'll react to this." Mike doesn't even look up, absorbed in the game of solitaire he's finally about to win. 

 

"If you're busy, it can wait."  And that snaps him out of it, because if experience has taught him _anything,_ it's that Bill is a passive aggressive whiner at heart.  If he's pestering you to listen or acting like you're a plebe for being interested in anything other than _art,_ you're golden.  If he's reasonable, listen up.

 

Mike sets his laptop on the coffee table, then leans forward and looks interested.  "No, no, I'm free.  What's up?" 

 

When Bill is nervous, the air around him gets saturated with the awkwardness he can usually contain and takes on a feeling of floundering that sometimes starts to embarrass _Mike._    He's biting his lip and twisting his hands like fretting twelve-year-old girl, and Mike can see this silence stretching out infinitely.  "Spit it out, man."

 

He can see Bill counting in his head, watches him take a deep breath, and prepares himself for a total break down, but when the count reaches ten, Bill is actually calm.  Making eye contact, he says, speaking slowly and clearly, "I was raised as a girl."

 

Not what Mike was expecting.

 

It looks like Bill's either about to expound on that or about to run, so Mike speaks before he has a chance to think much.  "So, you're... trans?"

 

Bill swallows and examines the carpet.  "Maybe," he says, after a pause.  His shoulders hunch and he still won't look up.  He's doing that thing where he looks a lot smaller than he is, and sort of like a kicked puppy.

 

Mike hates that thing.  "Bill.  William."  He waves his hand in front of Bill's face to make him pay attention.  "You know I love you no matter what.  But- I mean, it's not a 'but', just- that was a yes or no question."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of a loooooong story I have in my head, which most likely will never be written, but might conceivably become not!fic that no one will read some time in the future. This scene wouldn't leave me alone, so I wrote it. Comments welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

For someone who just told what is probably (hopefully) his biggest secret, Bill sure clams up fast. 

“It doesn’t matter.”  Is all he’ll say, not meeting Mike’s eye. 

“Bill, I get that you don’t really want to talk about it.  But I don’t know why you just told me that if that’s true.  I mean—if you are, like, you know, well,” Mike winces, “I mean, I was totally fooled.  I wasn’t gonna figure it out.  So—I don’t know why you said anything if you really don’t want to talk about it.”  William looked miserable, and Mike felt kind of a falling feeling in his chest, which irritated him.

“Okay, fine.”  He says, standing up.  “If you want me to, I’ll forget this conversation ever happened.”  He pauses, thinking about what he’s about to say.  “But if you don’t want that, we can still pick this up where we left off when you want to talk again, and I _really_ don’t care, Bill.  It’s kind of weird, but I still—” _Love you._  He hated sappy stuff.  “You know, it doesn’t change anything.”

Bill didn’t answer, so he leaves.

***

The next few days are… challenging. Mike wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t care, except for how he kind of cares.  He and Bill don’t really talk to each other, but they don’t (can’t) avoid each other, either, so when they’re in a room together, Mike can’t help but… _look._   For all Mike’s teased him about looking like a girl, Bill just doesn’t look like a girl, not really.  Mike looks, and he sees an adam’s apple, he sees a totally flat chest, and flat everything and he’s more confused than ever. He’d never admit it, but he starts googling. 

And he finds out more than he needed to know, and less at the same time.  Enough to make a sort of educated guess that if Bill is… Well, he’d have to have had surgery.  Probably multiple times.  And _that’s_ not something he wants to think about.

Besides, that somehow just doesn’t fit.  Mike’s known Bill since he was seventeen, and Sisky’s known him a little longer.  If Bill used to be a girl, (or he, like, had a girl’s body, whatever) than when did that change?  Mike’s pretty sure you don’t have that kind of surgery when you’re a kid.  Especially not if you’re in foster care…

And that makes him wonder.  He wonders so much that he breaks the code he usually lives by and asks Sisky a serious question. 

“Hey.”

Siska looks up from his cereal groggily, but with characteristic content.  “Hey.” He squeaks, seventeen-year-old voice box betraying him. 

Mike grins at him but resists the urge to mock, turning a chair to sit down at the table and putting on a casual face.  “So… you know when Bill’s parents died?” 

Sisky looks up at him suspiciously.  “He doesn’t talk about it.”  He says slowly.  “Why did you want to know?”

“Don’t think I didn’t catch where you didn’t actually say you don’t know.”  Mike was not to be fooled.  “I’m just wondering how scarred for life he is and how I might exploit that.”  He joked.

Sisky fixes a level gaze on Mike and for once it makes Mike feel defensive rather than amused.

“I was just wondering, okay?  Jeez.”  Mike makes to leave the table but Siska sighs and gestures for him to wait.  

“I don’t know for sure that your intentions are good,” He says, “but I guess I can trust you not to do something horrible.” He pauses, eyes narrow.  “I can, can’t I?” 

Mike nods, although that is partially because he can't even _think_ of something horrible to do based on the knowledge of Bill's age when his folks died.  He's got Siska overestimating his malicious creativity.

“It was when he was fourteen.”

Mike feels oddly touched by Sisky’s judgment of him despite his missgivings and by his loyalty to Bill, but the second was never in question.  At first Mike didn’t get why Bill wanted to bring his fumbling, underage, _young_ friend along on tour, but with a year of touring behind them, he gets it.  Siska always has Bill’s back, no matter what, and he always cares enough to listen when Bill goes on and on about something weird nobody else gets, even though he doesn’t get it himself.

It’s stupid.  “He went into foster care right after?”

“Yeah, I think so.  It was… well, I’m pretty sure he just had a mom, actually.  Like I said, he doesn’t talk about it.”

“And when did you meet him?”

Sisky once again looks suspicious.  “Dude, this is like the Inquiry.  What are you trying to do?”  He speaks seriously but looks and sounds ridiculous from his ridiculous hair to and his ridiculous squeaking.  Mike can’t believe he’s in a band with this guy.

William walked in then, and apparently he’d caught the last bit.  “Do you mean the _Inquisition_ , Adam?” He asked, eyebrows raised and teasing.  “What are you guys even talking about?”

Mike’s pretty sure Sisky lies like a boy scout with a bible, so he takes that one.  “That fan who’s always around when Sisky goes anywhere.  I think they’re destined.”

William is still sort of not talking to Mike, but he can’t let that slide.  “The one with the freaky tattoo?  Adam, you haven’t been _talking_ to her, have you?  I told you she’s creepy!”

“I can’t just ignore her when she talks to me after shows!  It’s not like—”  And Mike’s work here is done, so he slips out with a chuckle.  He can trust Sisky not to upset Bill, which means he can trust that their conversation won’t be mentioned, now that he’s ensured Bill won’t ask.

***

So William is talking to him again, and that’s good news.  Possibly even better news is that none of the guys noticed anything was wrong in the first place—at least, not so much that they’d say anything about it.  Probably suspected, but they’d escaped without any attempt at intervention.  The sort of bad news is that Mike almost wishes someone _had_ said something, if only so he’d have an excuse to talk to Bill about the cause of the rift.  Without that, he didn’t know how to bring it up.  He said he’d forget it ever happened.  He should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. 

For the most part, though, things go back to normal and there’s nothing to remind him, so over the next few weeks, Mike acts normal and thinks mostly normally, too.  He’s totally adjusted.

So of course Bill brings it up again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I said it would never be written but actually maybe it will. After... a long time. (So far, one year.) No promises, I don't want to lead anyone (assuming anyone is left reading in this fandom?) on but I think my muse is back, so... maybe. Comments welcome! (Again, if there's anyone out there. Hello? Helloooooooo?)


End file.
